The Death of Perfection

When we are born we are these innocent human beings seeking food, love and protection. We don’t even realize it, but these were our three basic needs when we came into the world in order to survive from my perspective. We are not aware of flaws, pain, negative emotions or imperfections. We are simply who we are, our most natural selves.

We begin to grow up and then life starts to happen to us. We experience being teased or ridiculed at school. Some of us are raped, molested and beaten. Others are abandoned, left for dead. Some witness the abuse of parents. We are introduced to drugs and alcohol. A family member or friend dies and pain enters in. We know not to touch the fire because we will get burned; so we now know somethings can harm us. Life is just happening and we have no way of stopping it. So somehow we go from being innocent, fearless imperfect people to those striving for perfection.

So today I take one single bullet of honesty and shoot perfection. It is dead on arrival and there is nobody that needs to solve this case. The only case that needs to be solved is what caused you to think if you were not perfect you were no good. Let’s solve the case of why you never think you are good enough, no matter how many times people tell you who truly love you.

There are so many images in magazines, in TV shows, movies and all over social media that make us believe we need to be perfect. The front covers of magazines are models, actresses and other prominent people who have been photo-shopped. So now you believe that you have to look a certain way to be accepted. We have been taught over time that failure is not good. We have been made to believe that failure is so terrible, we cringe at the very thought of it. Now you have this seed of perfectionism buried deep inside of you birthing bitterness, anger, resentment, fear and all types of anxieties.

Do you know that some of the greatest people in the world failed miserably over and over before they got it right? It is our failures that teach us how to do better and be better people. Failure sometimes catapults us in the right direction; if we let it. God never created any of us to be perfect because if he did, sin would have never entered the world. He knew from the beginning we were going to fall and make mistakes, so why are you beating yourself up about them? Why do you still believe if you are not perfect nobody will love you, you won’t make it and you will never have anything? And just to clarify, I am not telling anyone to get up and deliberately sin.

Perfectionism is something that has plagued me for years and I still struggle with it sometimes. However, it is not nearly as strong in my life as it was when I was younger. I realized my senior year of high school that the weight of perfection was too much for me to carry. I heard constant statements of ” the kids at church look up to you, you are a role model,” etc. I was dying inside trying to keep up this image that I was made to feel I had to be. I felt like everyone was watching me and if I made a mistake I was going straight to hell or worse someone else would screw up because of it. Until I finally got to the place where I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to just find myself. I freed myself to just be me.

Perfection is evil in it’s purest form because it presents itself as beautiful. It creates a need for control and sometimes will cause you to manipulative. Things just have to go your way or else. It will cause people to misunderstand you. You will feel if everything is perfect then everything will be okay and go according to plan.  Well led me shed some punches of light that will hopefully knock some sense into you. Almost nothing ever goes according to plan and sometimes things just aren’t going to be okay regardless of what you do.

So this post is to encourage those of you who think less of yourself because of a magazine, what someone said, what you witnessed, for flunking out of school, for ruining a relationship, giving up a child because your family thought it was the right thing to do, becoming an alcoholic, getting strung out on drugs. You still have time to turn life around. You are beautiful the way that you are. All the cellulite, the fact that your legs rub together when you walk, your skin condition, your nerdiness, and  the fact that you are quirky. Your glasses are cool and not dumb, your being skinny, your being full-sized, your teeth having a gap, the flab on your arms and your chunky tummy. Beautiful. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to be the best version of yourself that you can be. That version includes every imperfection and it’s amazing. Love you some you !

You are loved, cherished and valued. Until next time.